9 August 2010

A collection

My father recently confessed to me that both his father and his father-in-law returned letters he had written to them a long time ago with the spelling and grammar corrected in red pen.

My aunt once threw a pear at one of her sisters in pure rage.

Almost everyone I know has been in a class who has driven a teacher to insanity.

I overheard someone say they knew a man who - finding no toilet paper in the bathroom - wiped his arse with cake instead.

I have a friend who hula hoops exceedingly well. She said, 'I should think so too, my mother was her school's hula hooping champion'.

One of my friends, after having worried her parents and teachers by not speaking in her early years, surprised her mother one day with these first words whilst looking at a plane in the sky, 'shiny like a marble'.

I once taught a little boy who would only write the letter 'x' and the number '0'. His nihilism was astounding.

Women in my family use Andre Agassi stickers on their sliding doors to communicate their being closed after my mother once ran through one of these glass doors thinking it was open.

I recently found out some nicknames of men I love.

I won't share them here.

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