Reading porn in stony silence of waiting room of suburban train station. Everyone in black and grey. Feel like a giant throbbing stupid clit in my red jacket. In the story a girl details just how much she enjoys her job. Peep show. People lean against the ledge outside the waiting room windows. Their backs and coats and straps and necks and hairs are pressed against the glass. The only other spot of colour in the room is the fuschia of the pursed lips of an old lady. The colour looks obscene on her mean face. I imagine her big white pants drying on the line. I imagine her folding them and placing them in a lavender scented, pouched and lined drawer. I want her to surprise me. I don’t want to think old people never screw. The fading on the floor shows the perfectly predictable motion of other people.